Alright, Alright, Alright
I listen to bunches of different Ted Talks, Podcasts and motivational speakers throughout the week. I’m constantly absorbing information. Usually, even when I’m not specifically seeking out yoga related material, in some way shape or form it comes full circle on some level. This week I was working on an future workshop about Happiness & Bliss. I stumbled across a speech made by Matthew McConaughey.
It’s ok, take a moment to swoon.
Back to the point. Matthew’s (in my mind we are on a first name basis) speech was unbelievable. Some further research after listening, lead me to find that Matthew is an avid yoga goer. He is often found on the beach meditating or practicing poses. Wait for it….
The words are powerful, uplifting, and hopefully will resonate for you, as they did for me.What he said isn’t anything I haven’t heard before. It was simply the way in which he said them. I talk to students and clients frequently about our “If this, then that” happiness mentality, and how to try to disconnect from it. Happiness is truly is result reliant, but Joy can be a constant.
“Happiness is an emotional response to an outcome. If I win, I will be happy. If I don’t, I won’t. It’s an ‘if then, cause and effect, quid pro quo standard, that we cannot sustain, because we immediately raise it the minute we obtain it. You see happiness demands a certain outcome. It is result reliant. And I say if happiness is what your after then your going to be let down frequently. And your going to be unhappy much of your time. Joy though, joy is a different thing. Joy is not a choice, it’s something else. It’s a not response to some result. It’s a constant. Joy is the feeling that we have from doing what we are fashioned to do, no matter the outcome. Now personally, as an actor, I started enjoying my work and literally being more happy when I started making the daily labor a means to an certain end. For example, I need this film to be a box office success, I need my performance to be acknowledged, I need the respect of my peers. All those are reasonable aspirations, but the truth is, as soon as work:the daily making of the movie, the doing of the deed, became the reward in itself for me. I got more box office, more accolades, more respect than I ever had before. You see joy is always in process, it’s under construction, it is in constant approach, alive and well in the doing of what we are fashioned to do and enjoying. The easiest way to dissect success is through gratitude. Giving thanks for that which we do have, for what is working, appreciating the simple things that we sometimes take for granted. And that gratitude reciprocates, creating more to be thankful for, it’s really simple and it works. Now I’m not saying be in denial of your failures, no, we can learn from them too. But only if we look at them constructively, as a means to reveal what we are good at, what we need to get better at, what we do succeed at. Life is a verb. We try our best and we don’t always do our best. And since we are the architect of our own lives, let’s study the habits, the practices, the routines that we have that lead to the and feed our success…our joy. Our honest pain, our laughter, our earned tears, let’s dissect that and give thanks for those things. And when we do that guess what happens…we get better at them and we have more to dissect. It’s a ‘get-rich-quick-on-the-internet-15 minutes-of- fame’ kind of world that we live in, and we see it everyday. But we all want to succeed. So the question that we all need to ask ourselves is what is success to you? Is it more money? That’s fine, I got nothing against money. Maybe, it’s a healthy family, maybe it’s happy marriage, maybe it’s to help others, to be famous , to be spiritually sound, to leave the world a little better than you found it. Continue to ask yourself that question. Now your answer may change over time, and that’s fine. But do yourself this favor, what ever your answer is, don’t choose anything that will jeopardize your soul. Prioritize who you are, and who you want to be and don’t spend time with anything that antagonized your character. Don’t drink the Kool-aid, it tastes sweet, but you will get cavities tomorrow. Life is not a popularity contest. Be brave take the hill, but first you have to know what your hill is. For me, it’s measurement of 5 things: We got fatherhood, we got being a good husband, we got my health..’mind, body and spirit, we got career and we got friendships. These are what’s important to me right now. Because I want to keep all 5 in healthy shape, and I know that if I don’t take care of them, if I don’t keep up maintenance on them, one of them is going to get weak man. It’s going to dip to far into the debit section, it’s going to go bankrupt, go sick and die.
So first we have to define success for ourselves, and the we have to put in the work to maintain it. Take that daily tally, tend our garden, keep the things that are important to us in good shape. Defining ourselves by what we are not is the first step that leads up to really knowing who we really are. You know that group of friends that you hang out with, they gossip to much, are too shady, and really aren’t going to be there for you in a pinch. Or how about that bar that we keep going to that we always seem to have the worst hangover from. Or how about that computer screen, that keeps giving us an excuse to not get out of the house and engage in human interaction. Or how about that food that we keep eating,that stuff that tastes so good going down, but makes us feel like crap the next week, and we feel lethargic and keep gaining weight. Well those people, those places, those things, don’t give them your time and energy. Put them down. And when you do this, when you do put them down and quit going there, you inadvertently find yourself spending more time and in more places that are healthy for you and bring you more joy. Why? Because you just eliminated the who’s, why’s and where’s, that were keeping you from your identity. Too many options, I promise will make a tyrant of us all. Get rid of the excess the wasted time. Decrease your options. And if you do this you will have accidentally almost innocently put in front of you what is important to you by process of elimination. Knowing who we are is hard. It’s hard. So give yourself a break. Eliminate who you are not first and you’ll find yourself where you need to be.”
As you go about your week, I encourage you to stop looking for happiness, and start finding your joy. Eliminate that which no longer serves you. And just know that even if things aren’t particularly joyous in your life, everything is “Alright, Alright, Alright”
Namaste’
Jessica
***Try as I might I could not find where this speech originated, be it a movie, a grad ceremony, a public event. I do not own the rights to the photos or the speech.